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Mon, February 27

Vegas Wedding (and I'm Not Talkin' an Elvis Chapel)

Just got back last night at around 1am. The baggage claim took FOREVER probably just because fate decided to throw in just one more wrench into our already bad travel experience. First we got delayed like, five hours. I read every trashy magazine available and ate foods I wasn't hungry for. Then, I got seated next to a nice young girl who at least I knew would smell OK, but she switched seats with a huge man with meaty arms so she could sit with her sister. His leg was all up in my space the whole flight and he had halitosis to boot. My neck hurts from craning in J's direction so as to avoid inhaling the same air as the guy next to me. Every exhale from his direction made me want to barf.

But all that aside...What a weekend! Friday was ROUGH because we had to wake up at 5am and the show was the night before--we didn't get back from dinner at French Roast till about midnight or so. Then I had to do some last minute packing. So our Friday Vegas itinerary was just perfect: Massages at the hotel spas and then a manicure (for me). I was scheduled for a massage at the Mandalay Bay hotel and J had his at the hotel in which we stayed--a place simply called, "The Hotel." (By the way, everything in "The Hotel" had a name that was preceded by "the". Like the mini bar was labeled "The Mini Bar" and the cafe in the hotel was called "The Cafe." The little soaps and lotions in the bathroom were called "The Bath". Kinda funny. Oddly enough, the sign above the restroom simply said "Restroom."

This was the nicest spa there is, up there with Canyon Ranch. I can only say this from what I heard said from the spa goers around me since the only spas I've ever to were the make believe ones Karina and I used to have at sleepovers. It was so wierd for me to try to relax. I had to tell myself, "Stop walking so fast. You are in a spa, not running to catch the subway. You are supposed to be taking it easy. Don't get mad at the women in front of you padding along in their slippers." After my Swedish massage I was able to relax more. I alternated between the hot steam room and the cold pool and walked into the bathroom a thousand times just to sample the toilettries they had: Hand lotion, body spray,q-tips. I didn't even need the qtips I just liked knowing I could use them if I wanted. Something nice about being surrounded by so much plenty. Oh, and being able to use as many towels as you want is just divine. So much better than at home where even though I have six towels in my closet, I "conserve" by using only one for about two weeks and get a bit pissy when J needs a towel too. Cuz then I'll only have four at my disposal. I am nuts.

After the spa, I went upstairs to meet J. We watched some TV and listened to music, and then got ready for the Rehearsal Dinner at the Venetian Hotel. I loved that place! There was a fake sky, and when you walked under it it seemed like the clouds were moving. I wanted to ride the gondola but we were late for dinner (what else is new). These Texans sure know how to party--there was not an empty glass in the house. I convinced all the ladies at my table to have dirty martinis with me. I think Brian liked it the most though because I only saw Michele take a sip. Em's and Jon's parents put on a slide show from when the kids were young, and the toasts lasted for maybe two hours. Em's sister's husband's dad talked about how long the two families have known each other (Em and Jon met at Em's sister's wedding. Jon's mom pulled her aside and said "You HAVE to meet my son," and that was all it took) and about the hard times they'd struggled through to get where they are today. Jon's sister in law made a tearful speech about how she is so happy to be welcoming Em into the family and "when you fall, I'll pick you up. When you cry, I'll cry with you." I get teary just thinking about it. From where we sat in the restaurant, the fake sky made it look like an eternal dusk. You really can lose your sense of time in Vegas. We kept on thinking it was only 5pm because of the fake sunlight. Brian put on a senior citizen accent and said, "Who needs to go to Italy? I bet this is exactly the same. And here they speak English!"

The next day J and I took a cab to a barbeque place that J wanted to try. The chef from that place is one of J's faves from the annual Big Apple Barbeque. Our cab driver was from Afghanistan and he told us a story about a New Yorker who he once drove in 2004 who gave him $100 and said, "I want you to give this to your children in Afghanistan," and how he'd never forget that man's gesture. I looked at J hoping he wouldn't be so moved. The man said, "Now when I go to my country I tell everyone that story and say, "Not all Americans want what The Bush wants."

At the Memphis barbeque place we sampled three different kinds of ribs and I looked at everyone around me: Not a single person was without a donut roll around their belly. I was careful not to scrape the bottom of the mac n' cheese bowl we ordered as a side. They served drinks in huge mason jars--I had sweet ice tea "the way Gramma makes it" as it said on the menu.

We took a cab to the strip and stopped in the Bellagio. The cielings were so beautiful! There were flowers hanging everywhere, and a ton of light pouring in. We went to this big room that had a giant mechanical dog that barked, and a Japanese garden with really interesting fountains that looked like they were shooting water in arcs in the air. Some tool decided to put his hand in the shooting fountain and it sprayed everywhere.

The New York New York hotel is funny--it has miniature replicas of places like Bleeker Street and Times Square. We savored the irony of riding the rollercoaster there, where the cars were made to look like taxi cabs. New Yorkers riding the New York rollercoaster, peering out over a fake to scale Statue of Liberty, soaring over the fake Brooklyn Bridge.

We watched "Date My Mom" on MTV until it was time to get ready. We didn't factor in the time it would take to find The Four Seasons, where the ceremony and reception were held. We went on a wild goose chase for the place, as non English speaking maids pointed us in a myriad of wrong directions. We made it in the nick of time, before the vows!

Michelle and I lost it when Em walked in with Jon and they had their first dance. We were practically dry heaving and sobbing while we tried to take pictures of our happy happy friend. The photographer took 400 pictures of the three of us: Emily smiling and Michelle and I in tears. From the pictures, you'd think we were the spoiled five year olds at her birthday party, throwing tantrums because we wanted presents too, but really, we were so overcome with joy.

The funny thing about Southern weddings is that the groom has a cake too. Jon's was in the shape of a football and said "Texas A & M". Everyone at the wedding knew the school's anthem. We had such a blast. We even line danced.

J, Michele, Brian and I were constantly referred to as "the New York Friends" like we were some kind of rare birds that showed up at the party. It was like, "And now...Emily's FRIENDS FROM NEW YORK would like to make a toast." Almost anyone we spoke to said to us, "Y'all must love New York. It is so much fun isn't it?" It is nice to be reminded sometimes, of what you take for granted.

After a day of eating pork and beef, the sirloin steak they served at dinner was almost out of the question. But it was so good--we did decent jobs of eating it. The steak was served with frizzled onions and over some sort of mashed potato cake, with green beans. This, of course, was served AFTER the salad, which was AFTER the cream of mushroom soup with sweet onions, which was AFTER the shrimp and julienned potato appetizer. Yikes! That's The Four Seasons for ya.

We stayed until the lights were turned on, and talked to Em's and Jon's family. Long after we'd said goodbye to the newlyweds, we briefly went downstairs to the casino. Michele, Brian and I were carded but I was the only one who brought ID so Michele and Brian had to leave. J and I played one slot machine and called it a night. While we were purchasing water from the shop in the hotel lobby, an angry gambler tried to start a fight: "You trying to cut in front of me Man?" he asked J. J immediately backed off. "Do you know what it feels like to lose ten grand? Ten grand. I bet on the wrong guy." (There was a Vargus vs. Mosley boxing match that night). We tried to politely leave him alone, but he followed us through the lobby. He was plastered and suddenly changed his mind about us: "You know, I like you guys. I like you!" We thanked him and said we'd better go upstairs. "I don't usually do this. But can I buy you both a drink?" We insisted that we really had to get to bed. He blocked our way to the elevators and then told us about his pet dog. "I have a...a you know. A Taco Bell." "You mean a Chihuahua," said J. "Yeah, that." He left the dog at home for a few days with a big bowl of food! How horrible! Finally, a guy going into the elevator told this man to get off our case and leave us alone. I swear that gambler guy was this close from making an "Indecent Proposal."

Once in the elevator, our Savior looked at J and I and asked, "You two married?" J shook his head and said, "Nah." "Yeah. I could tell," said the guy. "I could tell cuz this girl's looking at me like she wants it." No, I was looking at you because your eyes could not be any more glassy and your face couldn't look any harder. As we walked out of the elevator he shouted after us, "You sure you're not married?" Even seeming saints are really sinners in disguise. Everyone wants something from you in Sin City I guess. Gross.

So...I'd say two and a half days is all you need to get your fill of Vegas. Next time I'd like to see a Cirque de Soleil show and eat at one of the fabulous restaurants we passed by. I'll be posting pictures hopefully tonight!

Posted by lexzog at February 27, 2006 03:42 PM

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