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Sun, January 29
The Dirty South in New York
Bachelorette party weekend for Em! On Thursday night when she just arrived from Texas, I had Michele and Em over my house for wine and sushi. It felt just like the old days. It was so odd too, because I remember when Em and I were the single ones always on the prowl. Now she's getting married! And building a house!
At the last minute I put together our Saturday night BIG NIGHT OUT plans. About ten of us had dinner at Otto around seven. Em's sister made her wear a bridal veil, a shot glass tied on a string that said "Last Fling" and a flashing button. We were forced to put mini penises on our drinking straws--unfortunately, it was kind of early so the family dinner crowd was there. Oops! Otto has the best sunchoke and escarole salad..(I am now obsessed with sunchokes. J showed me were to buy them at the Green Market.) We were given free after dinner drinks in exchange for vacating our table. Can't say no to free drinks!
J called and told me to put the first round of drinks at our next spot on him. We hightailed it to the Soho Grand. The gorgeous hostess looked us up and down--I could tell she thought we were tourists. She was almost right--only three out of ten of us were New Yorkers. It didn't help that half the group was blond and that Em was wearing her veil. But who the hell cared? At least we were having fun and not being stuck up like the rest of the Eurotrash slash underage crowd dressed in suits and dresses. "Do you want a table?" the hostess asked us. "Sure!" we told her. "Oh, are you sure you'd want table service? You'd have to order at the table." "Uh, yeah, that's fine," we said. "Actually, the wait for a table is pretty long." We rolled our eyes and went to the bar. Good thing--turned out table service required us spending up to $300 for alcohol. On our way to the bar, a group of young guys "getting table service" hollered and whooped at Em's gorgeous older sister. She turned around, and in a perfectly friendly tone with southern accent, said, "Y'all don't get out much do ya?" Right on.
At the bar there was a married couple-- swingers we presumed. They pointed at each girl in our group and asked Em if this one was single or that one was single. If the answer was that the girl was NOT single, the husband said that said girl either looked "really unhappy", "uptight" or "bored" in her relationship. Hm. I didn't remember us asking his opinion.
When we'd had enough of the Soho Grand, Em, Michele, Lucy and I met Thomas and Chien at Pacha where thank goodness we were on a list. We danced on the speakers and I pretended to not be afraid of heights while wearing high heels. At first the music was just OK, but when the live drums started, the DJ started sounding really good. But honestly, after a couple of hours of dancing and being tired of drinking, the club thing gets a little old. Us gals walked upstairs to see the famed live girls dancing in showers, and find a place to rest our weary dancing feet. We crashed a 21 year old's birthday party. I love how when a young guy introduces himself to a group of girls he thinks he's the most outgoing and confident guy in the world. Like, "Hi, I'm Ben. And you are?" he'll say, with a low voice and firm handshake. And once the introductions are over, he expects us to be fawning over him like some kind of dumb rap video with satin sheets and Crystaaaahl. Instead, we'll look at him blankly like, "And?" It is nice to not care anymore and not have to try to be engaging in these false atmospheres with people I have no intention of getting to know. I'd rather just be hangin' with my friends.
After Pacha I met J at O'Neil's in Chinatown and convinced him not to go to Cain. I'd been out since 5:45pm!
So, the best brunch ever is hands down The Tribeca Grand hotel. It was just Michele and Em and I. We sat in nice comfy chairs in what felt like our own private living room space. The music was perfectly subdued and even though there were lots of kids running around, they were cute kids dressed in expensive clothes. ;) I usually don't like buffets but this buffet is an exception: Really fresh sushi, huge shrimp cocktails, mozzarella and tomato salad, fine cheeses, chocolate covered strawberries, bagels and breads and a lox array (including gravlax!), made to order eggs, bacon, and mac n' cheese!
I'm not happy with my Razr experience thus far. It just shut down for no reason the first week after I bought it. I got a new battery, but two weeks after that when I tried to charge it it said "unable to charge." This stumped even the T mobile customer service people. They sent me a new phone, supposedly express mail, and it arrived a whole week later. I finally thought my phone problems were over. Lo and behold when I tried to charge it it said "unable to charge" once more. Thank goodness someone at the T mobile store was nice enough to give me a new charger for free. Now my phone works. Yay.
Posted by lexzog at Sun, January 29 | Comments (0)
Mon, January 23
Plan B
I think this whole being in a long-term relationship thing has made me forget the world of single people...Last Friday night, after hours of pre-pre dinner drinking at Perbacco with Jenn, getting a pre-dinner olive martini at Assenzio, and then finally eating dinner around midnight, the group went to plan B. It wasn't even that late at night, but everywhere I looked people were dancing like it was some kind of highschool basement party and making out. Left, right, people kissing. On the stage, pole dancing. First two gay guys then a bleached blonde girl took their turns with the pole. I found a wallet on the floor and J realized it belonged to the girl his friend was kissing. "Thanks, you're a doll," she said to me, and then went back to kissing some more. Kids these days!
Saturday was so beautiful. I met Margs for lunch at Bari in Soho. We walked inside and just as we were hading up the stairs, the hostess says to us, "It's a restaurant upstairs, you know." "Yeah, we know. That's why we're going up the stairs." As soon as we got upstairs, a waiter looked at us with a puzzled expression and said, "You know, this is a restaurant." "Yes, we know this is a restaurant," we told him as we went to grab seats. We found a small table by the window, barely big enough for two. The waitress came up to us and said, "Will it just be the two or you?" she asked. We looked at her blankly. Then, just to be sure, she says, "You will be eating food right?" Wait a minute! You mean--this ISN'T a nail salon?
Later, I went for a run along the East River. Funny how you can feel like you're doing something healthy for yourself--getting fresh air, daylight, a view of the ocean. And then you realize that with every breath you take you're inhaling fumes from the FDR. Debris from the road was flying into my eyes. When I got to Fulton St. it really smelled like fish. A homeless man was waving a stick and looked like he was practicing jujitsu.
I almost didn't make it out later, the run really did me in. That and the late night before. But you know, hunger called. So I met J and his friends for dinner at a tapas place whose name I never can remember on Clinton St. We had a perfect table in the back and drank wine and must have ordered nearly one of everything on the menu. I had a delicious pomegranite martini, and the patatas bravas were delicious--some of them were sweet potatoes! Afterward we went to Essex for Jenn's bday and made a brief stop at Schiller's before we went home. There was a table full of girls near the bar, and it was so weird to watch them sneak glances at my boyfriend. I'd never seen that happen before. Funny, guess it wasn't obvious we were together since it was me and a group of guys anyway. They probably just thought I was a guy's gal. Not ONE guy's gal.
"Back to the Future 2" is on right now. They are flying in a "car", and it is the year 2015. Remember when that seemed eons away?
Note to all--please look both ways when crossing the street. There was a girl in the East Village who was struck by a drunk driver on Saturday night at 1 am after she saw a movie. I need to pay more attention.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, January 23 | Comments (0)
Sat, January 14
All made up and...
I must be anxious about something because I spent a good portion of last night and nearly the entire day scouring makeup counters for THE PERFECT FOUNDATION. Like, if I found that perfect foundation, maybe my life would be perfect too. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about credit card bills. Or my next Inner Monologues show (pssst! February 23rd!) which will be at Mo Pitkins. Or my "book" that I'm trying to finish editing the first half of. Oy.
You see, I've reached the end of my Bobbi Brown Foundation. That's where this really started. But before purchasing a new Bobbi I decided to sit down at the Sephora counter and try something new. I picked the makeup artist's brain for information about the best this and the best that, and learned, to my dismay that the Bobbi color I'd been wearing for months was "too yellow." Two more of the Sephora girls clucked their tongues and agreed. Bobbi Brown was all wrong for me. "How about Lorac?" Asked Laura to Jessica. "Oh yes, certainly. Lorac, oh yes." We tried Lorac. I wore it to dinner with H and Rebs at Bread (see below entry). Went home and didn't find myself any more gorgeous than I did before, with the Bobbi. But of course, I did convince myself that the Lorac was less "yellow" if indeed Bobbi was ever yellowish in the first place.
So today I went for an appointment at Haven, where Salina told me that Bare Essentials is the way to go. "It's like a thin veil. Think of it...like a cloud.A cloud won't clog your pores, will it?" I ran right back to Sephora and asked about Bare Essentials. Laura wasn't there this morning, so someone else took care of my skin's fate. Nicole piled on the Bare Essentials, and as she did it I realized that perhaps if you pile on too much "cloud" it can turn into more of a soot-like black cloud. Right on cue, a fresh-faced redhead who used to work at Saks walked in and swore up and down to me that Bare Essentials is the best there is...That is, next to Armani. "If you want a liquid foundation with more coverage, Armani's your best bet."
I didn't even know Armani did makeup.
Off I went to Bloomies, where Kathy at Armani pointed out that my Bare Essentials was flaking near my nose. She put on the Armani and noted that one must buy the Armani makeup brush with the foundation for really perfect application. "Sponges just waste your makeup."
This was getting too complicated! And too expensive.
Back to Laura Mercier. The makeup guy put on some of that gunk and pointed out that the Armani was way too dark for my skin.
Still foundationless, I went to Rebecca Taylor to look for a dress to wear in my bridesmaid role at K's July wedding. I unleashed my frustration on the shopgirls there and wouldn't shut up about my foundation hunt. Surprisingly, this is an inexhaustible topic of interesting conversation among women because we carried on for fifteen minutes sharing beauty secrets, while I waited for K to come by and check out the dress (phew! A winner. I bought it.)
A new shop girl entered the store as I was paying for my dress. Again, somehow, the topic of makeup came on. "Oh you have beautiful skin," she told me. "What are you wearing?"
"Armani."
Oh man. I guess I have to shell out the $$$ for the new foundation. But was she really just sealing the deal on my dress buying? Hm...
Back to square one.
Posted by lexzog at Sat, January 14 | Comments (0)
Fri, January 13
Regarding dinner, tonight: Read from bottom of email chain.
HAHAHAHA!
-Rebs
-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: Dinner!
Surely, H will be wearing a dress. I think she sleeps in pretty dresses. With her hair curled and lipstick on.
She looked very nice the other day when I saw her and I told her and she actually said "you do too" but I had come straight from the gym. I was like, "No I do not!" because I really did not and she said, "Well, I like your coat..."
-Lex
-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: Dinner!
I'm a greasy mess. Hair and skin! My bangs are sticking to my forehead which means I'll most likely break out. Awesome.
Oh, and I hate my outfit.
-Rebs
-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: Dinner!
A jar of vaseline.........ah hair product?
-Lex
-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: Dinner!
I resemble a jar of Vaseline if that gives any visuals.
This weather is for the birds.
-Rebs
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: Dinner!
Oh, good. Cuz H said you were dressing up and I am so tired I don't feel like it!
-Lex
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: Dinner!
Just an FYI: I look like crap today.
I tried this morning, but the results were futile.
-Rebs
_____________________________________________
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2006 5:58 PM
Subject: Dinner!
>
> Hello friends o' mine, I don't mean to be a bother, but I simply
> cannot dine before 8:30.
>
> Hope this is okay with you ladies, and I'm very much looking forward
> to catching up!
>
> See you there!
> Rebs
>
Posted by lexzog at Fri, January 13 | Comments (0)
Wed, January 11
Jolie's Opinion Sums Up Mine
A Million Little Lies Commentary
I was one of those said "publishing friends." Jolie has this perfectly straight..
Posted by lexzog at Wed, January 11 | Comments (0)
Mon, January 9
NO WAY!!!
From today's "Publisher's Lunch" newsletter:
Frey Accused of Gross Fabrications
The Smoking Gun went looking for some mug shots of A MILLION LITTLE PIECES author James Frey, which turned into an extensive examination of his account of his years as a drug addict, alcoholic and criminal. After searching police and criminal records in multiple states, and interviewing numerous law enforcement officials and Frey himself, TSG concludes he "demonstrably fabricated key parts of the book" and "wholly fabricated or wildly embellished details of his purported criminal career, jail terms, and status as an outlaw 'wanted in three states.'" Besides accounts they call "patently dishonest," TSG says his allegedly exaggerated version of the role he played in a train accident that killed two girls when he was a teenager "is downright creepy and detestable."
The full posted story is long and complex, and the fallout is likely to reach not just Frey and his books but Oprah Winfrey as well.
Say it ain't so!
And even if it is, that's why it's called "artistic license." I think it does say somewhere in the book that he did take the liberty to add events that didn't happen or switch scenes around. Is that not allowed oh ye Book Gods?
Posted by lexzog at Mon, January 9 | Comments (0)
From A Wedding This Past Fall
Does it need an explanation? Too funny.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, January 9 | Comments (0)
Fri, January 6
Hostel
I think I saw Jessica Cutler (author of "The Washingtonienne") sitting near the front row of the 7:45 showing of HOSTEL.
What does it say about us, about our needs, that after this really nasty movie, the overall consensus that I heard all over the theatre was "they didn't show enough?"
Show enough? What else could viewers possibly have needed to see? Long scenes of torture? I think movies like this are more about what you don't see, the psychology of it all. That way you can explore your own imagination. See just how sick YOU are.
One movie-goer told the girls on line to the bathroom that the movie was "hilarious."
If I were to take a deep approach to the movie (and I probably am looking too deeply into it) I would see it is about exploitation in all its different faces and at different levels: Child exploitation, the exploitation of women, the exploitation of people who use drugs, people who use women, people who need things and would pay dearly for them. Exploiting the people they're paying those things for. Even the people being used and exploited are exploiting others in their own way. You never know which direction exploitation can come from.
For example, if I were to try to butter up a salesman in order to get good service, by acting very girly and cute and feminine--I am exploiting myself to get what I want. But at the same time he thinks he's "got" me, that his demeanor or charm has made me behave in this flirtatous way. He doesn't know it is an act, or that he is being used. He thinks he's getting the better end of the deal--the ego boost.
Sometimes life can be one big strip club. And even there I am not even sure who is getting used the most.
Posted by lexzog at Fri, January 6 | Comments (0)
Thu, January 5
Feel My Fat!
So I go to spin class tonight with Becs, and for some reason, as always, my instructor strikes up a conversation with JUST ME while the rest of the class is waiting for her to start instructing. She conspirationally comes right up to me, while still speaking loud enough that anyone in class could hear, "As you can see, I'm getting fat."
Hold the phone for a sec...This woman is all of 90 pounds. She's like, crazy exercise lady. Even if her life goal was to be "fat", she'd have a hard time attaining it. When she pulls up her shirt after our warmup, you can hear gasps from the rest of the class as they notice not only the snake tattoo that curls up her side, but the rock-hard abs that neighbor it.
"When I used to do sit-ups every day, you could hold water in one of the crevices of my ab muscles." She tells me.
"But look down here! Look at my hips! Feel them!"
"Please! Come on! You are NOT FAT!" I tell her.
She comes right up to me and grabs my hand, pulling it to her hips where the supposed "fat" was.
"See?!?" she asks, expectantly.
I was holding onto nothing but sweatpant material. I roll my eyes and laugh.
Posted by lexzog at Thu, January 5 | Comments (0)
New Year's Pics
Brooklyn Bridge on New Year's Eve
The Twins on New Year's Day
Grandpa Playing Piano
Posted by lexzog at Thu, January 5 | Comments (0)
The Most Wonderful Present!
Guess what? I am no longer ipod-less. My number one blog fan, otherwise known as my Grandpa, read my blog and gave me money for an ipod because "it's silly to be sad over something that is so replaceable." I am humbled. (Oh, and also elated) :)
Posted by lexzog at Thu, January 5 | Comments (0)
Mon, January 2
First Daughter...Kind of.
I'm at my parent's house now, and just got back from my dad's swearing in ceremony as City Councilman. My dad has great visions for our town. One vision is to stop all the developments and big building projects that are taking away the small town feel here, and encourage the preservation of green spaces. Good stuff.
I was very proud to watch him take his oath over the Tenach (Jewish Bible).
Afterward, the Mayor of our town came up to say hello to my family. He's a really nice guy. Five years or so ago, I met him at our town pool. When he found out I was just three years younger than his son, he tried to set us up (unsucessfully, as you might have guessed). So tonight he must have forgotten our exchange a few years back and asked me how old I was. When I told him he said, "Oh! My son is 28!" Well of course. We must have so much in common I am sure, for sheer reason of us both being in our twenties. Quickly I told him, "Oh, I have a boyfriend." He then told me, "Well my son has a girlfriend! A Shiksa!"
OY. Can you say that out loud? In public? After a swearing-in ceremony?
I can't believe I even responded, but I said it: "Well, the Jewish boys tend to like those non-Jewish girls." Well it's true isn't it? Not that there's anything wrong with it. Hey, they've probably got much better, naturally lighter hair than us curly-haired Jew gals, and their families abstain from eating things like herring in cream sauce and chopped liver. What's not to like?
I'm just hoping if anyone was listening, that it sounded like he said his son was dating Shakira.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, January 2 | Comments (0)
Sheared Beaver
New Year's Day, the family got together at my aunt's house....Us "kids" were all gathered 'round the table after dessert: My two cousins and their boyfriends and me and J. My cousins' grandmother came into the kitchen to say goodbye, and we all admired her fur coat (for some reason, I forgive elderly women who wear fur).
"Wow." My cousin's boyfriend Mark said, ever the charmer. "That's a very nice coat."
(Insert strong Austrian accent)"Why sank you," said my cousins' grandma.
"What's it made of?" Mark asked, politely.
"Beaver!" She exclaimed.
We all chuckled, and tried to hold in our laughter.
Mark, all straight-faced then says, "Oh, BEAVER? Really. It's...It's really soft."
Grandma nodded proudly, patted her coat and said, "Yes. It's SHEARED BEAVER."
The rest of us absolutely lost it, while Mark maintained just the glimmer of a smile.
"You don't say," said Mark. "Sheared beaver. Very nice."
"Sheared!" She said again, I guess, for emphasis. In my family the saying goes, if its worth saying once, its worth saying a thousand times.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, January 2 | Comments (0)