lexBlog: December 2005 Archives

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Tue, December 27

And it was like a dead puppy was lying on the table...

Last Wednesday: I was walking to J's from work due to the lovely transit strike at around, oh, 6-ish. It was, despite the cold, a lovely night for walking. Everyone was out and about, doing Christmas shopping or just trying to get home from work without using the subway. I snapped a picture of the tree at Rockefeller Center on my new Razr phone. I paused by the Lord and Taylor windows, taking in the different montages of Fairy tale scenes.

When I first had started walking, I thought, "shouldn't I listen to my ipod while I walk? Nah. I should banish technical needs and instead give into the pleasure of Christmas in New York street noise."

At around 36th and 5th Ave. I thought, "Shouldn't I take a sip of water from my water bottle? I didn't drink much water today and now I am on this long journey down to 22nd Street. Nah. It is far too cold to take a sip of cold water."

When I arrived at J's, I set my bag down on the floor, and after warming up a bit, went for that water bottle. Lo and behold! It was EMPTY. Not a drop not a drip not a dram. Nada. No water.

My memory hadn't been that great lately due to lack of sleep and stress from trying to get too much done before the holidays. Maybe I gulped the water at some point on the way downtown? Maybe I imagined filling it before I left the office?

I stuck my hand into my bag and felt something wet. I pulled out my soaking wet Louis Vuitton wallet. I dug deeper: Soaking wet makeup case. Soaking wet notebook. And finally...

My beloved ipod. Also soaking wet.

I placed it on the table in just enough time to hear it speak its last words: "Mmsdfjkladsjf" said Ipod.

Nooooooooo!

J and I rushed to Techserve, where they told us they weren't authorized to really do anything to my Ipod because they didn't have ipod parts or some sort of techspeak I didn't have the patience to take in. They did, however, agree to open the case so we could assess the damage.

Six Techserve people gathered 'round the table as the technician revealed, to everyone's horror, a completely waterlogged Ipod. You should have seen the looks on their faces! It was like I had brought them my just run over dog, and brought it to the vet just as the dog were breathing its last breath. The Techservers were each like, "Man, that sucks. That's just awful. Jeez."

But now that I think about it, my Ipod was kind of like a small dog--one of those cute but sometimes annoying looking things that all the hip people are carrying everywhere with them these days: On the streets, in stores, on the subway...In a way, I did lose a little friend. But unlike dogs, Ipods can't swim or do the doggie paddle. They drown.

Oh Ipod. How I miss you.

If you just came back to me, if you just gave me another chance, I'd promise to keep you far far away from water, even sweat. I wouldn't stick you in the waistline of my gym pants when I worked out. I wouldn't throw you in my bag on the way to work. I even promise not to download any Kelly Clarkson or Ashlee Simpson songs. And I would never, never, never drop you (again).

I haven't yet had the heart to bring it to the Apple store and "recycle" it (thus recievng 10% off a new Ipod). I also do not have the cash.

(sob).

Posted by lexzog at Tue, December 27 | Comments (0)

Tue, December 20

Hipsters Are Ugly

I've had it with Hipsters. I'm sort of happy that they're slowly leaving the east village (ha! originally those Hipster Boys were the reason I moved) and that the banker crowd has come to replace them because now, I find them just friggin damn annoying. At least we always knew the banker types were to be avoided, but I'm sure we've all had our little "Ooh, I'd love a little hipster boy" phase. Those cute little shrunken hooded sweatshirts! The smelly armpits! The girls in their $200 dollar "thrift store" dresses.

Who are these people anyway? What makes them so darn "hip"? Thinking you are hip, or calling yourself hip, just ain't sexy.

Well...if you disagree, and you want to purchase your very own Hipster, there are quite an array to choose from. You can see tons of them at the Misshapes website:

You'll see that Hipsters come in many varieties. They are:

horny,

sometimes giftwrapped,

hungry (and just might eat you),

a little bit like the shy kid in the corner,

preadolescent,

And full of angst.

You can have them--stupid black hair in their eyes, choppy bangs, cut up shirts, unshowered and all! I'm into lawyers now :) And boys with hair that's shorter than mine.

Posted by lexzog at Tue, December 20 | Comments (0)

Sat, December 17

The Rupert Holiday party

Our company's holiday party was uh-maz-ing. If I had known how great it would be, I probably would have chosen not to see Garrison Keeler at Town Hall at 8pm. The theme of party was the movie "Ice Age." After waiting on a line that was 30 minutes long, we were greeted by servers in white button down suits, holding blue martinis. They greeted us by saying, "Welcome to the Future." We walked under an archway with the title, "Club Ice" that was made to look like an igloo or something arctic. At the end of the archway was an ice sculpture of the squirrel from the movie, and the room was just immense. Wherever I looked there were buffets, multiple bars overflowing with liquor (towers and towers of already poured read and white wine). There were bowels of fake ice, that glowed. Hors d'oeuvres wherever I turned. I was having so much fun with Raquel, Emily, and Raquel's bf, eating and drinking, but like Cinderella, noticed the clock strike 8 and had to run to Town Hall in heels.

Garrison was great, but my buzz started to wear off after intermission, and the combination of warm theatre, my parents on either side of me, and The Wailing Jenny's singing soft folksy music forced me to take a nap.

I hope Grandpa was able to hear the show. He had on a great page boy cap, old school style--like before Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba started wearing them...

Little interjection here, but why is YOU'VE GOT MAIL always on tv? Anyone? I'd love to know.

So this morning I went to art class, and it was just one of those fantastic days where I was happy with almost every sketch. My teacher, Minverva, spent 20 minutes with me, and with a few strokes of her charcoal (I think she sleeps with a piece in her hands, for it just magically appears whenever she sits next to me even when I could swear her hands were empty). I just love Minerva and her big black dress. She even told me "my style" (which I wasn't even aware I had) reminded her of an artist named Ernst Barlach (http://www.germanexpressionism.com/printgallery/barlach/). I'm having trouble finding images of his work to see it this is actually true.

Met Margs up on 23rd street to see if we could find cheap ski clothes at TJ Max but only walked away with three pairs of 9 West socks.

The highlight of the day, however, was meeting Kari at Ingram Bridal for dress fittings. Her mom had a slightly different vision than Kari and I (mom favored more ruffles, big poofy skirt, etc.), but I think we got close to finding the perfect one. My eyes welled up when I saw her in the veil...

The kicker was that of all people, the girl in the other dressing room of this 2 dressing room atelier was someone we went to high school with...One of those unbelievable perfect looking girls, a girl who was smart, and nice so you couldn't really hate her. But the fact that she was there on the day that Kari was trying on her dress just highlighted even more how long Kari and I have know each other. And that we were both dying over the "news" that othis girl was engaged and we hadn't heard it through the grape vine, and that we were able to laugh with "God, how annoying that this perfect girl is engaged to (who we imagine to be) a perfect guy, getting married in Paris on probably an unlimited wedding budget"...that's friendship.

I just got a Razr phone from Motorola. I'm kind of afraid of it. I've only had the kind of phones you get for free when you sign up for a one year plan. This thing has a camera, a speaker phone, hell, it probably makes me breakfast. I just haven't figured out how to do that yet..

Posted by lexzog at Sat, December 17 | Comments (0)

The Ultimate Douchebag

http://factualmaterial.com/douchebag.htm

I know it is a little crass, but my brother just pointed me to this website and, well, I laughed. I think you will too.

Posted by lexzog at Sat, December 17 | Comments (0)

Tue, December 13

Beshert

In Hebrew, one might say it is "Beshert" or meant to be. I would have to agree. The stars have aligned, and all signs point to me and Eric from The Real World: New York getting married. What does that mean for poor J? Who knows. But I keep on running into this guy in my east village hood--first, two weekends ago at 7B while waiting for my coworker to show up for her birthday party, and again this Saturday...this time at the Russian & Turkish Baths. To be honest, I never even saw a single episode of the Real World: New York, and didn't know who Eric was until my friends pointed him out on both occasions. And, he was with an adorable little lady at the baths but whatever.

Meant to be...

Posted by lexzog at Tue, December 13 | Comments (0)

Mon, December 12

Saturday Night at M Bar

Santa Claus hats abounded on the lower east side, but Dena and I made our way towards her joint birthday party near Bowery, with our friend Jenn. No fear! Santa Claus hats were there too--albeit on the heads of cute twenty-something girls who, after one too many peach infused vodka tonics and whatnot, were making out in the downstairs room rented for the party.

Me, Dan, and Mikey Mike:

Birthday Girls

Awww....

Santas Kissing

Posted by lexzog at Mon, December 12 | Comments (0)

Pieces of Last Week's Show

Today I'd like to post some of the pieces from the show last Monday at Mundial,(Love and Loathing in New York), so you can see the caliber of writing that INNER MONOLOGUES has finally achieved...Well, to just limit it to writing would not be fair--my readers were all quite seasoned performers, at ease with themselves and the stage (or imaginary stage--we only had a mike and a spotlight).But enough smugness, I guess I'm just happy with the way it turned out. Then again, I seem to always be happy with these shows. Kudos to all who have been involved in putting it together this time and in the past. Check back for more additional pieces. So far I have:

Emily Epstein's, "Leaving (With a French Horn) on a Jet Plane"
Download file

Read Dan Levin's piece at:
http://brokejewboy.blogspot.com/

From Heather Fink at www.heatherfink.com,"Confidence Makes Me Fat": Download file

My piece, "Nice and Soft":
Download file

With music by ThisisJoshua who sang about his love for geriatric patients and hate of people who keep their cell phones on during his shows.

Posted by lexzog at Mon, December 12 | Comments (0)

Thu, December 8

And yet...I Care

Nicole Richie Splits With Fiance

I guess the truth about this little diamond was that it wasn't um...forever? And to think! I dared read that book in PUBLIC, on the subway.

In other news, earlier this weekend, The New York Time's Magazine reported that children have gotten so spoiled, that these days, a child's wish list might include:

1)A snowflake with child's name on it.
2)For Santa to move in with them.
3)A cow.
4)A soda machine "that when you open it up, all the thingamajigs come out."
5)A mail order bride.
6)A limo.
7)A trophy

Gee, can't wait until I have kids!

Will report on the show later...

Posted by lexzog at Thu, December 8 | Comments (0)

Mon, December 5

You Can Make Comments! And..The Show!

James Blunt "Beautiful" video link

You have to watch this! He was on SNL this weekend. I first saw this video the morning after J's bday in Paris, just before we left our cute hotel to face another beautiful day.

This song breaks my heart!

And good news---you can now post comments to my site again! Little problem with not notifying typekey that my email had changed.

Please come to the show at Mundial on 12th between A and B at 8 if you are around tonight!

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