« June 2004 | Main | August 2004 »
Thu, July 29
No Good Deed....
Yesterday on my way to dance class, just as I was contemplating whether or not I would be in the mood for the leftover melon pieces I had bought earlier in the day (random thoughts that only can occur if given two to three stops on a subway when it is too short a ride to commit to opening a book), a homeless man walked into the car:
"Ladies and gentlemen. I am homeless. I am hungry. If you could spare anything at all, anything to eat, or some change, I would be very grateful."
Ahah! Problem solved--or so I thought.
"Sir- I have some leftovers if you'd like."
Next thing I know, he came charging at me like a rabid animal.
"You think I eat LEFTOVERS. Do YOU think I eat LEFTOVERS?" he asked as he turned to walk away.
I could not restrain the following from coming out of my mouth:
"If you didn't want FOOD, then why did you ASK?!"
He quickly turned around, knelt down beside me, and screamed in my face, eyes bloodshot, breath reeking of alcohol:
"You look like you gotta boyfriend. Don't you? You just have this look about you. You just have this..I don't know..." And he proceeded to make elaborate hand gestures around me.
And I honestly cannot remember the rest of what he said, because my mind went "peace out, see ya later". I had no idea where this was coming from, WHAT it had to do with the food I'd offered him, and where this was going. Thankfully, a man in a business suit (a big, imposing man) said to him, "Leave the lady alone." At this point I had reached my stop, and said, "It's fine. I'm getting off anyway." As I dashed out of the car, I heard the homeless guy yelling, "Was that your woman?" and then at me, "He your man?" and then more arguing.
What the F? Where did I go wrong? I am no longer offering anything to anyone on subways. Instead, I will turn the tables, and try to make some cash of my own:
"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I work in publishing and make very little money, if you could spare anything, a nickel, a dime, a penny, some FOOD, I would greatly appreciate that. All I need is enough money to pay my outrageously expensive rent in a super hip neighborhood. Oh, and a new dress would be cool too. Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen, and I am sorry to disturb your evening."
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 29 | Comments (0)
Wed, July 28
This Entry is Not Dad-Friendly, so Dad--no reading please.
I am now a card-carrying CLUB CAKE MEMBER!
J, being a progressive and sensitive and-all-that male, signed me up without my knowing. Actually, I think he just wants to go the parties, where men can only attend if accompanied by a girl...They are pretty randy parties, if you look them up on the site, you will see. I remember when Cake came to Barnard, during one of our many "female sexual awareness weeks" , and I scored two free thongs.
Check it out:
http://www.cakenyc.com/
Here is the testimonial...Scary, how he figured this out about me.
"she's the sexiest woman i know.. she revels in
it.. she doesn't repress it.. she feels it.. she exudes it.. she's
curious about it.. she feels it so naturally, she doesn't realize how special that is.
she thinks nothing of exploring it to her fullest,
making all who know her jealous of it..she needs to know it's right,
even though he told her it was wrong.."
Can't wait to write about one of these parties...
Posted by lexzog at Wed, July 28 | Comments (2)
Tue, July 27
Torrential Downpour
I swear, the only thing that stays dry when it pours and I have an umbrella, is miraculously, the bottom of my ass. Or not so miraculously, considering I have the quintessential "ghetto booty" (a gift, I know). The rain must just slope off of it and onto the ground, much like the one part of the umbrella that works (another mystery), while the rest of me gets soaked.
Apologies for the pictures in previous posting not working. Tomorrow I will upload jpgs instead of links.
Tonight I met my highschool friend Karina at Mekong on Prince. We inhaled room temperature spring rolls, papaya salad, and marinated pork (don't tell the Jewish moms!) Speaking of...We were talking about how some Jewish moms cringe at the idea of cooking pork chops, but somehow bacon is permissible. My mom never! cooked pork. But pork lomein? Sure. Bacon and eggs? Totally fine, if on vacation or in restaurants. Cheeseburgers...never. But salami and cheese? What else!?
????
We then pored over Victoria's Secret, US Weekly and Lucky magazine, pointing out all the celebrities who looked fat and/or ugly. The media must hate Britney right now, because every picture of her shows her with a triple chin.
Still pouring and lightning outside, but I love that when I'm sitting at the corner of my bed by the window and can listen to those sounds as I write.
I have my boss's pool party on Thursday...a whole day, (again!) drinking, eating, and lounging around half-naked with co-workers. My kind of party!
It should be more fun this year, now that I know everyone (as opposed to last year, when it occurred my second week on the job), and have been to her house a billion times (or so it feels).
I never took home my last painting from my class this year, so it still sits on my desk. Occasionally, someone will pass by, point to the half naked woman that sits on my shelf, and ask, "Is that your boss?" Yes, there is a resemblance, and yes, she is very open and generous...But I highly doubt any boss/employee relationship entails posing nude for hours and agreeing to be displayed for every mail room/ Vice President/ or oustide visitor to see. So no. It is not my boss. It is a random Russian chick who answered her cell phone the whole time we were painting her, and fidgeted a lot.
Yesterday when I went back to the building after my run, I heard "Let me Clear my Throat" blasting through the halls. I snuck around the corners, to find one of my favorite cleaning people (young guy from Hoboken), getting down with a dust mop. He was less than pleased.
Went home and uploaded my "Funkmaster Flex, Volume II, The Mix Tape" to my ipod. I remember cruising around with my girls in 11th grade, blasting an obscene song called "Spread Out" really loudly along Route 17. Three virgins on their way to the mall to get Starbucks and a pair of shoes, listening to Funk Flex. We knew how to party.
I'm excited because I think BadMan (Eric Castillo) is coming out with my friends and I on Friday night to see The Village and then for drinks...Blog world and real world unite. Though, I fear what would happen if he hit it off with one of my friends...That would put me in an awkward situation, seeing as that I "know his ways" (not personally, but you know what I mean). And, I guess I am a bit possessive. He's MY BadMan :)
Speaking of Bad Men. One of my friend's ex-boyfriends has been the reason for many a waste of breath. After dumping her, he got together with her, acted lovey-dovey, scored, made a joke about how they were having "make up sex", and even agreed that getting back together was a good idea. Only, a second later, he was back to his old ways: Too busy to call once in a five day period!? Please explain. IF he didn't want to get back together in the first place, why did he agree to? Is he that much of a coward? That spineless? Or, is he stupid- and thought he wouldn't have to change his behavior one bit during this "Round Two" of their relationship...That he could be status quo, and that would be enough. It pains me...because sometimes that is enough. (Girls get walked on...and so do boys, but only the ones that act like girls. )
I was just telling a friendster friend today, that the best boyfriends are those that have gotten their hearts broken at least once.
On a completely unrelated note, last Friday over dinner with a couple, who are both architects, we realized how women determine what their passion/career will be later in life, at quite an early age: When they play with their Barbies. This girl knew she wanted to be an architect, because whenever friends would come over, she would spend hours first making "Barbie's house" and decorating the living room, builidng shelves, etc. I spent the whole time creating stories that they would act it---I would lay the scenario out first, and we would have to follow it to a T. Ahah! Publishing/writing! It makes sense...But then I made them all have sex with each other, so now I am not sure what that means...
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 27 | Comments (1)
Famous. Again.
If you read this blog very carefully, and comb through the comments, you might know that a journalist from USA Today contacted me about my "dating experiences." She wants to include me in an article she is writing about online dating in NYC. Yes people, once again, I am being recognized the world (OK, New York) over for my dating prowess. Can't wait for the co-workers to see this one! Ok, Ok, I am just going to make photocopies of the article when it comes out and pass it under everyone's doors like a hot memo.
The kicker is that the reporter was most impressed with how I single-handedly prove, in my experiences, that this truly is a small world...all the coincidences that happen. Are they coincidences? Or am I a vortex? Does it all emanate from my hair? I wonder....
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 27 | Comments (1)
Hello Muddah. Hello Fadah.
My mom forwarded me a letter that my 9 year-old sister wrote, from her first day at computer camp. She is one of the youngest kids there, and one of the few girls...learning web/graphic design. I'm impressed with what a nerd she is! How cute is this?!
"Dear mommy,
I love you and I will call u l8er. I like the clogs. Stephie says that she has ones that are similar to them. Remember that huge beetle we saw near
andiamos when we went with Stephanie?
this morning when i put on my sneakers i wanted to take them off so that i
could put on my other shoes, and a LIVE one of those huge beetles came
running out of it and Stephie had to kill it. should i be scared now even
though stephie killed it/ do you think it layed eggs?
love Ashley"
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 27 | Comments (0)
Rockaway Beach
(I'll post these tomorrow)
Cool bike shot by J.
Hair everywhere....It has a life of its own. It has attached itself to J's face...or, is that just me?
The woman without a face.
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 27 | Comments (0)
Fri, July 23
Not Nice to Attack Girls with Your Balls: Dodgeball
I don't think I wrote about this, but last week I was in a Dodgeball tournament...I know, I know. Sounds dorky, and I was hoping it would be. But to my, and my all female teammate's surprise, we were the only girls there. With the exception of the two Dodgeball Cheerleaders, who were these annoying sluts dressed up in feather boas and fake eyelashes, drinking spiked Snapple from the bottle. The rest of the teams were basically your average I-banker/Hedgefund/Murray hill/Upper East Side frat boy type. We thought they'd cut us some slack because we were "cute". But no...We got burned. And bruised. Our only saving grace was Kate, who single-handedly beat an entire team of brawny guys with her killer arm and quick feet. Read about it:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=darcy/040723
My dad says that the reason the guys were so hard on us, was that they were merely displacing their aggression against females in a socially acceptable way. Is it acceptable to haul a ball at my ass when I am turned the other way? And then, afterwards, complain that I'm "being mean" when the boy who threw that ball tries to hit on me and I just scowl and walk away? Hm....
Posted by lexzog at Fri, July 23 | Comments (3)
Bad Girl in a Good Place
Tess (new blog reader) wrote this to me, and I want to respond. Unfortunately, I wrote a huge, hour long response just now, and I pressed some damn computer key, and lost it. But the exercise in writing was good, and I think I will approach this again tomorrow with a clear head...For now, read the comment:
--------------------
(from Tess)
"Hi there...
Came across you on BadMan's blog, then read an excerpt of your writing on Buttercup's blog. You said:
"It is REALLY DIFFICULT to be an aggressive, independent, and forthright
woman these days, when ancient rules still apply.
(Buttercup's comment - "TOO fucking true, honesty is not as appreciated as people might think.")
Between all this Worshipping, Being Worshipped and Being Indifferent, can
we agree that these terms only apply to either relationships that are
casual, or just starting, or the kind that go nowhere? I still hold that
none of these options are suitable for a fulfilling, REAL relationship."
Big, fat WORD to that. I have never been one for "playing the game" maybe
because I was raised by my Dad and therefore communicated like a man.
Direct, to the point, no sugar coating. I wasn't taught to be demure. A
blessing and a curse. Which has caused me to lose some great guys along the
way. It IS dificult to be a forthright, strong female these days. But, and
here's where the curse comes in, while I might think I'm "just being
direct" men might see that as high-maintenance and demanding. Which is okay in bed, but not in the light of day. A catch-22. Any suggestions?"
--------------------------------------
End Quote.
My dad read this blog and was confused...He thought that I wrote that I was raised by my dad, which made it sound like I am in a single parent family. And even though sometimes it feels that way, due to my mother's quite monstrous presence, alas, no. That was not me...That was Tess's life.
This took me a while to respond to, because I do not think there is an answer really. I do, however, have some definite "perspectives" on relationships, that being in a good one has taught me thus far:
1) Set precendents early: Speak your mind. If something bothers you even a little bit, it is important to let the other person know how you feel, even if you don't think it is a big deal. Because little things pile up, and you'll eventually just feel a whole lot of resentment. Do this early on in a relationship--so that you don't end up surprising the other person with a huge personality shift. And, being "direct" should never be confused with being "high-maintenance", unless you mean that you might directly declare, "I refuse to go anywhere without my hairdryer and my teacup chihwawa."
2) Timing is everything. I don't think that Tess is necessarilly losing "great guys"...I think that those guys, even if they are great, are just not great for her. The right guy for Tess, is one that will think her outspokenness is rad, in the bedroom and outside (though, I find that women who are very forthright and go-after-what-you-want at all costs in their "real" lives, tend to be less controlling in the bedroom.) So, I'm surprised that Tess is the dominant one in both her romantic and work/relational life. Right now, Tess might not REALLY want to find this kind of guy, so she's going for the guys that she subconsciously knows are not going to see her for who she is...When she is ready, the guy for her might be someone she's known forever but never considred romantically, or someone completely new that she wouldn't have seen before....
My brother says this philosophical stuff is boring. He might be right. Tess, hope my suggestions helped even a little bit, or that you merely delighted in seeing your name all over this entry....
I need to do me some entertainin' right now. New entry!
Posted by lexzog at Fri, July 23 | Comments (4)
Thu, July 22
Sweet Music
After getting my hair re-highlighted at RINGLET, and having a very spicy convo with my gay hairdresser over spicy Italian food....I ran over to see THE FATALES at PIANOS (I'm caps happy today). Go to their website, and check out some of the downloadable songs...They have become my new "Postal Service".
http://www.thefatales.com/musique.shtm
I sometimes find the bands at Piano's to be a little sloppy and loud sounding. But not The Fatales. They were melodic, and sweet, and sexy. You can sing along to them....
Tucked myself away in a corner (ok, fine, a pole at the bar) with J and basically didn't notice anything else but him and my vodka soda after the show.
I need to respond to Tess's (http://www.networkinggirl.blogspot.com) comment on something I wrote to Buttercup's (http://zairabuttercup.blogspot.com/) website.
Will do that hopefully soon. Hopefully tonight...I'm going to see some Freestylin':
FREESTYLE LOVE SUPREME
22nd at 9:30 pm.
We will be trying out some new games and there will be FREE BEER.
ARTHUR SEELEN THEATRE
in the DRAMA BOOK SHOP
250 W. 40th Street
(b/w 7th and 8th Ave)
$10.00
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 22 | Comments (0)
Mon, July 19
Fun Run-Ins
Just a quick note, as it is 4:20ish and I need a break from writing cover copy (too bad, no inhaling to go with this fine hour)...
This city is getting smaller and smaller. While strolling along arm-in-arm with J yesterday, not only did I run into a co-worker (who I dated very casually), but I even ran into the last guy I internet-dated. (I told him to read my blog again, at least, the last few entries because I was disappointed when he told me that he felt too weird reading my private journal. I told him that I am fully prepared to share this with the world, obviously. So, hey there Seth!) He's actually the guy who informed me that I graced the pages of the Time Out New York Personals...go figure. A pleasant run-in, to say the least.
Two hours later, a girl stared at my T-shirt (an old camp Blue Rill t-shirt, from my carefree sumer days of yore), and then exclaimed "Hey! I went there!" We realized we probably knew each other, but it was so long ago, (we were six), who knows...?
And to back track a bit- on Friday night, I went to Luca Lounge for a going away party of an old high-school friend. In addition to the usual Dwight crowd, I saw my old guy friends from Teaneck elementary schools AND Hebrew school...One of them told me he was just looking at a picture of the two of us and some of our Hebrew school classmates the other day, on his fridge, taken the day of our Confirmation.
One guy in particular there, looked very familiar...He realized that he was the one whose date spilled her red wine cooler on my pale blue prom dress (see Archives). And, along the same vein as the Hebrew School friend, he was just looking at those prom pictures (pre- The Big Spill) the other day, at his mom's house. He told me that instead of being known as "Dan's Date, Alexis", I was called "That Girl With The Pink Stains on Her Dress". I think I was better off not knowing that all these years. Thought I pulled off the pink as a fashion statement, but oh well :)
After Luca, my friends and I went to a club (oops forgot the name)...I am turning into a Club Girl because of J, but the nice part is that I don't have to deal with the pick-up scene that goes with it...or DO I? The moment I took two steps away from him to dance with my girls, a pool of sharks, I mean, men, shot in for the kill. I'd never seen a more aggressive crowd: They didn't care that we tried to pull the "Sorry, not interested, can't you see that we are dancing butch lesbians here?". They didn't care that we shrieked and pushed their hands away from our hips. Didn't make a shred of difference that Jen and I were pressed up against a wall, entwined, so as to avoid any touching whatsoever from guys. We were helpless prey. So much for not being glued at the hips (literally) to my boyfriend, but there was no other choice. Not like I minded it though.
Running in the park after work...My newfound Passion.
One of my readers asked me if now that I have a bf, am I going to lose my edge? Hm...I would like to think that the edge is just a part of me, something naturally cultivated over the years, that I couldn't get rid of even if I wanted to...I'm not worried.
I've never been that good at being smooth anyway.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, July 19 | Comments (2)
Thu, July 15
Reflection...
The blog universe is just so bizarre..I've been discussing this with OneFaceLife (see link) for some time, and with Eric Castillo lately.
Some odd coincidences:
I found Eric's blog through a link that was on a guy I dated's blog...He had a huge fan base, and I liked the risquee tone of his site. So, under an alias, I asked him to somehow link me to his blog. He responded amicably. From then on, I read his blog almost obsessively (it was scary, looking into the mind of a very sexually charged, but thoughtful male)...It wasn't until about two weeks later that he admitted that we had "met" before...on Friendster, but under different names. Months back, maybe in January, we emailed about meeting for drinks, but nothing ever happened. Then, around the same time that I requested Eric add me to his site, the "real" Eric (name not disclosed) on Friendster had written, "So, I have your number. If I were to call this number, would you meet me for a drink?" or something to that effect. He didn't know that my blog persona and my "real" self, were the same person when we first made blog friends. Even more funny--I'd recognized him around the neighborhood since those first friendster messages, but it was too awkward to say anything. It was slightly embarassing because I didn't respond to that last Friendster message...By now we've met face to face, and it is like meeting a character in a book.
Second oddness: No Email Breakups guy and I also first met on Friendster (not in person), then, finally in person, on a dating site. He wrote about me on his blog (all good things), and after things ended, I checked his blog out of curiosity. At one point, I just couldn't help myself: I had to comment on one of his entries. He took my opinion into friendly consideration...Then, he commented on my (not so nice) mention of him in the "Worshipped Males" posting! As he said in HIS blog, only in this day and age can you communicate with your ex via your personal online journals.
Lastly: I've come to depend on my daily emails with OneFaceLife, a blogger I met through Eric's blog. OFL is a gifted writer and passionate person. And, he occupies a wierd portal here, in that he has followed Eric's site, the ex's site, has read comments that my boyfriend has written to my blog...and has the objective view. He's fascinated by these internet crazy things that have happened to me--the inter-connectedness of people through their avatars...
Funny thing is- I have been itching to write a blog-format book, but the plot I had decided upon two months ago has actually come true, in many ways.
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 15 | Comments (4)
Love, Lust, and the Single Confused Male
J surprises me more and more each day. He writes, in response to the "Worshipped Males" entry:
So you've read "The Art of Letting Women Down.." it sucks.. it starts out
> decently but then fizzles out big time.. I think the author suffers from a
> lack of attention, focus, scope and tries to cover things he (she??) knows
> nothing about, i.e. the marriage chapter, long term relationships and the
> worshipped male, etc.. if you're really bored and/or interested, check out
> http://www.fastseduction.com but be forewarned- it might scare you..
>
But it opens a man's eyes and makes him realize he can change his
> personality, if he so desires, and get laid a lot.. what you might not
> realize is the amount of time that men will spend trying to change
> themselves from what's been termed an average frustrated chump ("afc") into
> this worshipable male ("wm").. a lot of it is society and the pressures
> placed upon us, as a gender.. think about the men who you find sexy, who
> you lust for, without ever meeting them, indeed, without hearing anything
> other than a soundbite or seeing a fleeting photo of them in public.. the
> fact that you're able to feel that way about a man you've never met.. not
> to say that we don't do the same with women.. we place this unhealthy
> emphasis on physical beauty.. most of the women that we men, as a gender,
> think we'd want to fuck, are dull, dumb, and boring..
> So men turn to materials that try and teach them to be something they're
> not.. to act in a manner that creates these emotional feelings in women
> that they have no emotional connection with so they'll sleep with them..
> women respond because they feel something for the men, which is so strange
> because most men they meet (a) aren't really that interesting or (b) don't
> want to open up emotionally to these women they've just met.. you
> mentioned last night that most women could be happy with themselves..
> check it -
> http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/02_How_to_Get_Started/mirroring.shtml
> this is the shit that men read, attempt to perfect, and then turn and use
> to pickup women.. it's like anything in life.. do it too much and you're
> going to get bored of it.. whether it's fucking a lot of women who you feel
> this slight connection with or making some sort of emotional contact with a
> woman every night.. do it enough, with enough women you don't care about,
> and how are you going know when it's for real??
>
> Why does society try to scare us into thinking we can't be happy alone??
> Why don't all of these people who spend all this time trying to change
> themselves into something they're not, spend the time, money and effort on
> finding things that make them happy?? If you're happy and interested in
> something, anything, you're going to be more of an interesting person..
> which is what women really want, and what makes you attractive in the first
> place.. no one wants to sit on the throne next to someone who they find
> boring..
>
I think it might be safe to say this shall receive a comment or two from some other guys???
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 15 | Comments (8)
Wed, July 14
Purple Rain
Tues. night: Prince Concert with J.
Posted by lexzog at Wed, July 14 | Comments (1)
Tue, July 13
Clothing for Sale
On Saturday, Erica and I decided to make up for our poor salaries, and get rid of stuff we've been accumulating in our closets for many many years...The kind of things that you THINK you'll wear some day, but never have the heart to actually put on...Sentimental items that, in the end, are just clothes that can be gotten rid of to make way for something much more meaningful: new clothes, of course.
We walked, lugging duffels and backpacks and a big blanket, all the way to the next block (it was hard I tell you!) As we lay our blanket on the sidewalk, in front of a brownstone, I decided to forget the clothing sale and just lie down like a homeless person. But Erica couldn't stop laughing.
At one point, a cop came over. Before he could say anything I asked, "Do you wanna buy a skirt?" He shook his head. "A belt? Some earrings?" He shook his head again. Then told us that we could get arrested. "But officer, tons of people do this! Every day people are selling things on the street!" I pleaded.
"Yeah, but how many WHITE girls you see sitting on the street selling their stuff?" he responded....
Luckily, we only received a warning, though I thought it would be cool to get arrested for selling my 10th grade jeans. And techincally, at that point, we weren't actually SELLING anything. No one bought a single item at that time...We could have just said we liked being surrounded by our belongings.
We met some cool people. One Czech woman insisted we trade her Erica's handmade earrings for a crappy Czech children's book she retrieved from her apartment when she heard what I did for a living....It was atrocious: "Cat and Dog Build a House Together." Must be lost in the translation.
One guy in a Hawaiin print shirt stopped to chat, and yelled at me because I don't speak Spanish. Somehow, there was nothing wrong with the fact that HE spoke Brooklynese, but that is another story. "Tell me something I don't know", he demanded. Wait. I'm supposed to ENTERTAIN YOU? Is that some kind of pickup line? Goddamn.
The most willing customers though, were lots of cute guys. They all stopped, looked at the abundance of women's clothing, and asked, "You got any guys' stuff? Like, any of your ex-boyfriend's crap?" Hm. Gave me an idea...
Total amount of time spent numbing my ass on the sidewalk: 3 and a half hours. Total amount of money made: 12 dollars.
I'm a superstar.
Tonight, Em and I ran half the loop in Central Park in the torrential rain. And it nearly was a sprint, because at a certain point the rain got so hard and cold, all I wanted to do was go home!
Dodgeball tournament on Wednesday. Prince concert tomorrow night.
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 13 | Comments (4)
Mon, July 12
Worshipped Males
Right now I am reading BadMan's bible (see link to his site): "The Joy of Letting Women Down", by Natalie D'Arbeloff. The premise is that there are two types of men in this world: the Reliable Male and the Worshipped Male. The reliable male, is generally, what you'd call a "nice guy." He treats women well, he sounds good on paper, you wouldn't mind being seen with him at a restaurant...Unfortunately for him, he doesn't drive women wild with passion. No. On the other hand, the Worshipped Male is the bad boy who seems to always get the girls...women know what they're getting into, but they don't care. He drives them mad with lust.
The author of this book does have a good point--women tend to go for the guy who makes them nervous, and unsure about how he feels about them. Is he going to call? Is he checking out that model at the end of the bar? Does he care about me as a person? For example, the Worshipped Male (WM) must use the tactic of "Hit/Miss" to reel a girl in...You give a girl something pleasurable (a great, fabulous date that makes her feel like she's the only one in your life), followed by something unexplained (no call for five days!). Then, five days later, "What are you up to on Friday?" Addiction is thusly formed.
This bears an odd resemblance to an experiment I performed on rats during my senior year as a psychology major. For rats, the Hit/Miss tactic is the equivalent of giving them a pellet of food when they press a bar , and then to not give them any food at all, even when they press the bar exactly the same way as before. This causes a rat to do some pretty insane things---they become superstitious. They claw at the bar. They run in circles around the cage. They hit it over and over. Eventually, they cower in the corner, shivering, reduced to near paralysis. One more try--and then, yes! A pellet of food! Rat forgets the torment she just endured, and starts to press the bar again, hoping for the next litle morsel of pleasure.
I think this is a great process--if you want to attract rats. I know we've all been through this, man or woman. Sometimes you only want a challenge. The point is to "win" the affection of another person, but once it is won, it is no longer fun. Badman indeed gets any woman he wants--read his blog. He's a force to be reckoned with. But I think he might admit that eventually, he would like to meet the right woman, who he doesn't feel the need to play headgames with.
Tactics such as these will attract women--but not women who are looking for a serious relationship, or who are eager to enter into a healthy and wonderful partnership with another person. Wait. Perhaps that's the point. This book is just about getting laid and growing your ego! Ah. Ok, I can stop writing now.
I think I've been on both sides of the coin: I have been worshipped and I have done my share of worshipping. But any type of unequal relationship, is, in the end, unfulfilling. And obviously, those relationships based on ego and lust did not work out...For example, the "Email Breakup" guy. Yes, it was extremely short-lived, but it represented the end of my phase of going after guys that just needed worshipping--the kind of guys who I knew in my gut from the moment I met them, that they wouldn't want a relationship, and I wasn't ready for one either.
Why the need to be placed on a pedastal, when you and your significant other can sit side by side on a throne? I think that is a much better position than being deified. In every relationship, we end up imposing fantasies of what we want the other person to be...and forget to embrace the real person that goes with the pretty face.
I guess it all depends on what you're looking for, and where you are in life.
(To J)
"She murmered, "If I had known you were as good as this I would have had the trousers off you long ago.""
-Sean O'Faolain, Vive Moi.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, July 12 | Comments (7)
Sat, July 10
Another suitor!
Friendster is so special. Here is a message I got today...Sounds like a catch!
Hi Dear,
How are you?
I am a very nice guy from India.
Although I am married I am seeking secret
friendship and activity partner.
Are you interested? Please reply at
NYCMA4FE@yahoo.com...... Thanks.
Posted by lexzog at Sat, July 10 | Comments (2)
Thu, July 8
My Brother's Keeper
Also wanted to write about my new neighbor: My 20 year-old brother. He now lives just four blocks away--a mother's dream! Two kids in the east village! The daughter wears what mom calls, "skirts that look like your grandmother's". The son's hair is "in desperate need of a haircut."
Justin's place is right on 7th between A and B. But closer to B. Which means it is very close to me.
We're going to tear the hood up.
Last night, after terrible food at 7A, I walked him back to his place en route to my own. I said goodnight, and he looked at me and asked, "Wait. No goodbye?"
"Uh. I'm sorry. Did you want a goodnight kiss?"
We both laughed, because earlier he had wondered aloud if when people saw us out together, they might think we were a couple.
When we were younger, he wouldn't go to sleep unless he shouted across the hall, "Goodnight I love you!" and if I didn't say "Goodnight I love you!" back, he'd say it again:
"Goodnight, I love you?"
(silence from my bedroom)
"I said, Goodnight I love you!?!"
(big sigh from my bedroom, then a shout)
"OK! Goodnight, dammit! Go to bed!"
Or, he'd need a "special" hug and kiss goodnight, which would require a "real" hug, and then a "soft" hug. Followed by a "real" kiss on the cheek, and a "soft" kiss.
Yes, we're both freaks.
But his demo released yesterday, and we're excited to see what happens with his funky beats.
On a separate note, please download KENNA'S "Hell Bent" from kazaa or itunes. It's painfully good.
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 8 | Comments (2)
Conversation at the Dunkin Donuts
This morning, 9:08am. Location: the Dunkin Donuts/Roy Rogers on 54th and Broadway.
Erica is stirring sugar into her iced coffee, and Alexis wanders over to where Erica's standing. A poster of Roy Rogers hangs over the condiments table, showing the aged cowboy in full "Ride 'Em Sally" regalia.
Alexis, dumbfounded, wonders aloud, "Wait. Roy Rogers is Asian?" (In the photo, he really looks Asian).
Erica turns and looks at her incredulously, "Uh. Yeah. Of course he is. What did you think he was?" (Erica thought Alexis asked if Roy Rogers was "ancient".)
Both girls stop, and re-evaluate their lives. Every memory associated with Roy Rogers and his food chain, is considered in this new light:
Alexis-- (internal thought of Roy Rogers having been an Asian man, all this time).
Erica--(internal thought of Roy Rogers perhaps having being a young guy after all, with this older-looking picture of him being an anomaly).
Both girls proceed, with coffees in hand, out onto the sidewalk. The world looks a little different.
Alexis: "I had no idea he was Asian!"
Erica: "Asian? I thought you said "ancient"!"
Posted by lexzog at Thu, July 8 | Comments (5)
Tue, July 6
To Come...
I will comment on this, but right now I am way too swamped at work!!!
http://www.departures.com/ep/ep_0704_eastvillage.html
Posted by lexzog at Tue, July 6 | Comments (1)
Mon, July 5
Hm...Odd
Ok, sometimes there are odd things entered into the search query of my site. Like, someone searched for "Leslie" and "Mike". I know a Leslie and Mike. Leslie and Mike are a very good couple. But why are you searching for them here?
Posted by lexzog at Mon, July 5 | Comments (1)
Fireworks and Free Sausage
The fourth of July party on our roof was a blast...Perfect amount of people. The boys next door had their friends, we had ours, shared their keg, shared our food...The fireworks were amazing.
Met some cool guy who lives in our building and his guitar-playing friends. I don't mean "met some guy" as in "met a cute guy, yeah baby" kind of way, but just a kool kat. I think they play guitar on the roof every Saturday while the sunworshipers worship their concrete sun-god. He was cooking sausages, so of course, I said "Mmmm. Sausage." Highlight of the evening: he invited me to share in their grilled bounty of fatty flesh. Sausage on a roll = Delish. Bad Jewish girl.
On Saturday night, Em and I met up for dinner and lots of drinking. We ended up having lots of dinner AND lots of drinks, at "26 Seats" on Avenue B btwn. 11th and 12th...It was so French that the French chef strategically urged us to sit outside in a table that was practically on top of the table of French guys next to us (Ok, it didn't take that much urging). I was offered a taste of mashed potatoes and endives from one of the guys, before I even learned his name. Food before friendship. We all went to No Malice afterwards, and Em and I tried to teach the Frenchies to dance to hip hop but it didn't go over too well. (They like to shimmy too much.) When J came to meet me, mashed potato guy got jealous and kept on pulling me aside to say, "You are a bad girl. I am very mad at you." I looked at him like he was from Mars (or, Paris) and said, "Excusez-moi?" To which he replied, "You know you want more." Right. Bien sur. That's why I invited someone ELSE to meet me there.
When Em and I went to the bathroom, two of the Frenchies walked in with flowers they claimed to have bought for us from a guy on the street. Well, in Paris, this would be a believable claim...in Paris, instead of crack they sell roses outside of clubs and bars. But...it wasn't until the next night, when we all took the rooftop party to No Malice (hey, its nearby and dependable), that I noticed where the flowers came from: A cheesy bouquet placed outside the men's room. Smooooth. Reminds me of first grade, when this boy Erol told all the girls that if we kissed him, he'd give us a diamond. I collected many "diamonds" that year, but at his birthday party, I looked up at the chandelier in his living room to discover mysteriously empty spots. I guess he thought I was cheap?
Newly realized pet peeve: when other people smoke nearby and all the smoke ends up directly in YOUR nostrils.
Today was just way too hot. Tomorrow's forecast: running in Central Park after work.
Posted by lexzog at Mon, July 5 | Comments (1)
Fri, July 2
Wishing Michael Moore was Here
I really wish I had a camera last night, during a stroll down the boardwalk of Wildwood with J.
It was a lovely night--not crowded, perfectly cool. The boardwalk has its charms: the short shorts you can buy, that have words on the butt like, "Phil's Ass" or "Billy's Bitch"; the VonBaby T-shirts, the smell of fried dough and all that good stuff. I was enjoying all of this, until out of the corner of my eye, I saw an awning in neon lights that had the word, "Iraq" on it. As I got closer, the words that preceeded it came into view: "ATTACK THE IRAQ".
This apparently, was a "shoot the bullseye" game, where you can pay however many bucks to shoot at a live moving target, dressed in Talibanesque gear (its the new black). It also didn't even make sense: "Attack the Iraq"? What does that mean? Were they too lazy to leave off the "i"? Or they just really wanted the word "the" there? If I'm missing something here, please let me know.
Flanking the teenage boy who was hawking at passers-by, "Take your best shot, come one come all", were two larger than life-size dolls of Osama and Saddam. And above it all, was a sign that read, "We support our troops. Come home soon." Sentimentality?!
My jaw is still on the floor. I'm even more ashamed of the Jersey Shore than I already was...It's good to be back home.
Fireworks and a party on our roof on Sunday!
Posted by lexzog at Fri, July 2 | Comments (2)