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Sat, April 3
The Happiest, Fattiest Place on Earth!
Ok, so today I spent the WHOLE day walking around Disney World's Magic Kingdom, and waiting on enormous lines...The lines were so long, that after a while, the people we were waiting on them with started to look almost like, well, family.
It was that bad.
Of course, my mother tried to make small talk to many of these folks...Namely, the ones that didn't speak much english. God bless her, it stopped me from echoing the tune my 9 year old sister was singing, the lovely song titled "I'm bored!" It goes like this:
"I'm boooooooreeeed! I'm booorrrreeed! This is boooorrriiiing!" You may not have heard this song yet, and its not as good as the Milkshake song, but its up there on MY list.
There was one group of girls from GodknowswhereintheSouth: One girl, obscenely obese, wore a shirt that said, "Excercise Your Faith in Jesus." I really wanted to tell her perhaps she should try some CROSSTRAINING, and alternate between exercising her FAITH and exercising one of her extra butt cheeks (yes, I know, I shouldn't dog on the junk in da trunk, but people- this wasn't just junk. It was a bonifide GARBAGE DUMP).
As soon as we got back to the hotel room, I quickly decided between taking a jog around the hotel and napping. I decided to take a nap while I was deciding, and thankfully, the problem solved itself. Which made me think: Could walking around the park all day be equivalent to a 30 minute exhausting jog? I would like to say, yes. But...If all those other people in the park were benefiting from the same amount of exercise I imagined I had had that day, why were they so damn huge? Perhaps it was because of the giant roasted turkey legs I saw everyone eating with abandon...or the ice cream sandwiches and floppy hot dogs. I don't know...All I know is that dad and I had a blast counting the 8 out of 10 people who had stomachs hanging out over their pants....
And if any of you readers are profoundly obese, I apologize. Stop eating turkey legs. Or stop going to Disney World.
I don't know which is worse...
Posted by lexzog at April 3, 2004 10:31 PM
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