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Sat, March 27
Complete Tool
So last night, my friend Rebeccca and I were at Piano's, when this guy comes up to us to tell R. that she had a straw stuck in her hair. She gave him tons of attitude, because she thought he was the one who put it there. I could not stop laughing, because I pretended I had no idea how it got there, while knowing full well it had come from my vodka tonic. Don't ask me how. This oral feat only tops last week's drool fiasco, in which half a sugar daddy plus some drool, somehow escaped my mouth and landed on Ken from Finance's desk. Again, don't ask.
But I digress...R. and I sat at the bar laughing at this and various other stupid things, when another guy came up to us to comment on R's dress. The words "Diane Von Furstenberg" were written all over it, and for some odd reason, guys had been commenting the entire night on that very fact. What- like they can't read? Or, worse, they don't think WE can read? So the dude establishes early on the fact that he goes "to Harvard, and is getting a graduate degree in Physics, but right now I'm just chilling at my parent's loft while they're in Africa, it's so great to have the place all to myself, and by the way I am a fucking toolbox" (OK, the last part I made up). Seeing as that I myself went to a great school and have a great job, I was none too impressed. He on the other hand, certainly was impressed WITH HIMSELF. When he finally stopped talking about himself, we told him we were children's book editors. He did not believe us. Maybe because he'd never gotten past the five year old reading level because he was too busy doing physics...He proceeded to say, "So that must be like, really easy to do, because its children's books right? Like, how hard could it be to edit children's books?" R. and I looked at each other, while little images of us staying way past the usual work hour to type manuscripts or copy edit, or draft P&L's, danced in our head. When I told him I work with Dr. Seuss books, and such, he absolutely did not believe me because "isn't Dr. Seuss dead?" Well, Mr. Harvard Physics PhD, Dr. Seuss is a license now, and yes, there are people who write Dr. Seuss books even though Ted himself ain't around no more. Do you think Mr. Levi Strauss designed those outdated looking jeans you're wearing?!?
Finally, a conversation too late, I told R. we should go upstairs and leave Physics to bother some less intelligent and sucessful (feeling good now) people.
Needless to say, we got really drunk and made some drunk-dial phone calls that pain me to remember now that I think about it. Ugh. And why am I awake so damn early? Oh yay. Five hours of sleep total. Nice.
Posted by lexzog at March 27, 2004 10:38 AM
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